Of course no man needs permission to cry, so another question might be:
What are the consequences for a man who expresses vulnerable emotions, such as sadness, fear & grief? I’ll dive a bit deeper and ask some questions that can help us to confront some of our feelings about how society judges men who dare to express emotions that often connected to qualities related to weakness, vulnerability & femininity.
Are men only allowed to cry under certain circumstances? For example, when the grief is so great that it involves great loss, such as the death of a loved one or a beloved pet? Or can a man going through a divorce cry to grieve the loss of a relationship, or to grieve the loss of the future he imagined with his wife and family?
What if a man simply observes the sadness of all the suffering in the world, the death and destruction of war in an unfair and cruel world, is it appropriate for a man to shed tears for the state of our world? Can he cry for the destruction of Mother Earth and all the damage and destruction done to the beauty of her bounty? Can we cry after watching commercials of abandoned dogs who have been left beaten, starved, scared and neglected? Can a man cry while listening to a song that reminds him of someone he once loved very deeply, or at the fiction of an episode of a show or from a tear jerker movie? Or since its fiction, must he maintain that understanding and keep calm and stoic in the face of empathizing and having compassion for the stories that weigh heavy on out hearts? BTW – Drop your favorite tearjerker movie or song in the comments below.
Is there a spectrum to our emotional worlds in which some men are devoid of such feelings and others are overly emotional and too sensitive? Is the opposite also unhealthy? What about the man who has not cried in years or decades? Is he a pressurized ticking time bomb, waiting to explode with years of unexpressed, repressed emotions that are waiting for an opportunity to be released? or do the emotions cleverly manifest as other emotions such as anger or rage?
Is it possible that some people just do not cry? Maybe there are some people that never threw tantrums even infants or children. Are some people’s emotions so even keel that they simply lack the polarity of the emotional roller coaster that can bring us to heightened emotional states?
Does crying have a biological function? Does crying release certain chemicals, or hormones tht allow us to process our emotions in a healthy way? If crying does not serve a function to serve the homeostasis of the organism, why were w equipped with tear glands that secrete fluids when triggered by emotions?
What is masculinity? What is strength? is vulnerability a form of strength diminished by societal expectations to uphold the modern and collective perspective on strength and masculinity? are these definitions fluid and do they change as we as a whole change our perspectives on what it means to be emotionally intelligent?
There is no single answer to the question of whether men are allowed to cry. It is a personal experience that each individual must explore on their own. We can explore and adapt to our changing experiences and recognize our conditioning, while allowing ourselves to be open to the evolution of change in how we define ourselves and each other. Allowing our hearts and minds to open and accept that we are all human beings that connect to the emotional spectrum in our own unique and individual wants can help us to connect more deeply with ourselves, and to extend that compassion to others. This very act of seeing, hearing, understanding and relating to others; the opportunity to connect with ourselves and each other more deeply is an evolution towards a more peaceful and loving experience. This maybe the pathway in which we honor the truth of our pain by daring to be honest with ourselves and share it with each other. The release of so much sadness, fear, guilt, shame & pain, maybe the very thing we all need to release and let go of the trauma we carry, and are part of the reason we continue to inflict pain and suffering on ourselves and each other. Thinking about the potential of emotional evolution, that can release us from this pain, and let go of the burdens we have been carrying for generations, makes me so happy, I could cry…